Phitus's Xanga

Smile for the Camera...

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 21:17:05 GMT

Tien-Long's first ever professional photoshoot was on Wednesday at a beautiful house in Streatham, in S. West London. the photographer for the shoot was Debi Treloar (http://www.debitreloar.com), who specialises in pictures of interiors. there was a host of staff present, including Karen from the casting agency, and Claire and Stacey from John Lewis. two other babies (Bonnie and Isabelle) were also there for the shoot. both had perviously done other jobs, and we originally met Bonnie at the casting--her mum, Lisa (?) had given us friendly advice regarding the industry (see the June 14 entry).

our baby was very restless during the two-hour shoot. we're not sure why. perhaps all the commotion? we think it might have had to do with not eating enough. the bottom line is that he was very shaky, fretfully reluctant to sit down, whereas normally he is happy to sit on the floor. the first time he sat down was next to Bonnie for a polaroid shot to test the lighting conditions and the composition. once on the floor, he tensed up and fell back, hitting his head on the carpeted surface and bursting into tears. later on, when he had calmed down, he sat down next to the other babies, and just when he was about to play with the lovely toys on the rug, Bonnie grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled hard, causing him so much pain that his face turned red, and the tears came flooding again. it broke my heart to see him, already fragile from bumping his head, then finally calming down though still shaky, only to be unexpectedly attacked and caused so much pain. when he had recovered from this assault, he sat next to Bonnie for the shoot (around the time this first picture was taken), only to have her repeat her earlier performance, again drawing cries of pain. i always thought the modelling industry was cutthroat, but this was ridiculous...

needless to say, his negative experiences hadn't helped him settle into the photoshoot any. however, by the end of the session, they apparently managed to get some good photos of him with Bonnie, and then with the other baby, Isabelle.

we don't know if our son has the right temperament to be a baby model, but we still think he is gorgeous, and we're so proud of him for doing the shoot under hostile conditions. i suspect that simply sitting still without toys or a book is too boring for him (it would be for me!!!). well, we hope that you like the enlarged scan of the polaroid. thank you to Debi for taking such lovely photographs, and thank you to the rest of the staff for being so warm and kind to Tien-Long.

this evening was International Evening at Kristin's school, where there were loads of ethnic foods, games, face painting, a bouncy castle, and live entertainment and music from both students and professionals. the highlight was dancing with Tien-Long and Kristin to a fantastic Cuban trio in the evening sun. the weather was beautiful as was the company--absolutely magical. we cannot wait to dance with Tien-Long at Summer Folk or other festivals in Canada. tomorrow, England vs Portugal in the FIFA World Cup quarter-finals, and more importantly, Thomas's birthday party and CANADA DAY!!! xx

Citizen Kristin

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 20:40:10 GMT

this will be a short entry. we're still struggling to get the little dragon to sleep through the night, and lately he has been fussing at bedtime, but at least he's now settled in really well at the nursery. the staff say that his fine motor skills are quite remarkable, and they suspect that he will probably learn to walk before he crawls. he's learned how to clap, and often claps to music and in response to one of us clapping, and today, for the first time, he waved in reply to my good-bye wave, when i was leaving to teach cello!

on the 12th, Kristin attended her citizenship ceremony so now she has dual-citizenship (passport still needed). Tien-Long was really well-behaved during the whole affair, and when Kris turned around to smile at our son, he burst into laughter. please pardon the poor focus.

a highlight of our evening was an impromptu invitation to a barbecue with some lovely Macedonian acquaintances (Radoslav and Emilia--spelling?) and their friends. they have a four and a half month old daughter, Miastella. the food and company were lovely, and it was so nice to have homemade barbecue seeing as we have no facility or space to barbecue at our place. next time we go to theirs, we will try to barbecue my interpretation of Korean Beef Bulgogi and Vietnamese Thit Nuong (bbq pork)... yum! we then stopped by a street party organised by the South American owners of the local pub. some neighbours were out with goods to sell, and there was live Irish and then Samba music playing as well. the atmosphere was incredible, and it was great to see so many families (many of whom we'd never seen around) with children from the area present--there was a true sense of community in the air. we were befriended by two very cool children, whose father is apparently Keb Darge, a Deep Funk DJ. we also met a photographer named Neil Wilder (check out his work: http://johnparkinsonagency.co.uk/main_menu.html), his wife Tania and their lovely kids. the pub is still playing Latino music on their stereo, and there are still people in the street enjoying the atmosphere. what a really magical moment in our neighbourhood--felt a little like Sesame Street... so many interesting people living near us.

finally, as promised, here are a couple of pictures from Tien-Long's interview with Urban Angels Agency. sweet dreams, everyone...

ladies and gentlemen...

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 21:54:50 GMT

allow us to introduce the newest member of the Urban Angels Modelling family: Tien-Long Nikosis Phi! they called to express their interest in representing our baby shortly after the interview/photoshoot. less than a week later, Jenny called to say that he had been offered a casting opportunity for a John Lewis baby catalogue! John Lewis is one of the big national department store chains (think 'The Bay' but much more upmarket). our favourite grocery store, Waitrose, is also part of the 'John Lewis Partnership', known for its worker co-ownership, and its increasing practice of fair trade with food producers. for castings, a casting agency browses through photos from different modelling agencies, then draws up a shortlist from these photos. the chosen finalists are then offered a casting call, where a polaroid is taken of each child. from this casting, the actuals for a shoot are chosen.

Tien-Long went to Code London (specialists in catalogue design) for the casting, which unfortunately was at 10am, pretty much when he is due for his morning nap. we had the pleasure of meeting some of the other babies and mums there. it was interesting hearing which agencies the babies were from, and who had done which work. all of the babies were interesting in their own way. some had piercing eyes, others could speed crawl or stand up. one waved at Tien-Long, and Tien-Long laughed to another boy. one mum, who was leaving the casting as we were arriving was kind enough to give us some tips. her daughter did a shoot for Cow&Gate (a major baby formula brand) and she said that often casting sessions are impersonal, where a baby is quickly ushered in for the polaroid, then sent on his/her way after only 2 minutes. she also kindly mentioned that we should not take any rejection to heart (which easily happens) because often there are hundreds of candidates for just a few places. well, Tien-Long sat up for the casting agents a couple of times, but was clearly restless, and didn't want to stay upright for long. on top of this, the flash wasn't working on the polaroid camera, so if i'm right, the picture they took of him was a little unfocused. and after a couple of minutes, that was it: "thanks for coming in. we'll let you know..." we left and gave Urban Angels a call to let them know how the casting went. the whole, brief experience was over before we knew it, leaving us with question marks, and as soon as we stepped outside, Tien-Long nodded off to sleep.

later in the day, we received a call from Alysia, the director of Urban Angels just to inform us of the outcome of the casting. apparently, the casting agents liked Tien-Long, and they picked him for the shoot! Tien-Long's first casting, and he was selected for the job!!! we are so excited and proud we are of him... sniff!... more importantly, i had the chance to chat with Alysia a little, and the overall first impression we get from Urban Angels (including our experience at the initial interview/photoshoot for Urban Angels) is that it's a friendly, family-run business, with people who are genuinely interested in how their models are doing, and not just the professional success of their models. if our hunch is right, that should make the collaboration all the more fun and enjoyable. Urban Angels will be giving us a few pics from the 'interview' session, and as soon as we get them, we will try posting one for you to see--watch this space. for now, here's a pic of our friend Julia with Tien-Long in Regents Park, and slightly older pics of our dear friends 'Auntie' Collette and 'Uncle' Srboljub, who adore Tien-Long, and without whose support we might not have made it this far. last is one of the dragon posing during his 'pre-modelling days' in April. enjoy. xx

A Model Baby...

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:36:06 GMT

well, the 7^th June was Kristin’s birthday and Tien-Long and I made pork-stuffed mushrooms with rice for dinner, and for desert, we bought watermelon. the weather’s been really nice recently (finally), and the melon really hit the spot... it’s really starting to feel like summer. it’s hard to believe that Kris and I have been together for nearly 8 and-a-half years! and now we have our little dragon… Happy Birthday, Mummy!

both of Kris’s parents had visited Tien-Long within two months of his birth. mine, living in different parts of the world, never had the time to come see our son, until recently. my parents are currently doing the long-distance relationship thing, until this summer when my father retires from his job as a professor in Canada, and joins my mother in China, where she has been teaching at a Canadian school. the only time they get to spend together is during holidays, and they chose to spend their most recent one-week holiday break with Tien-Long here in London, UK… I originally feared that Ong Ba’s (Grandfather and Grandmother in Vietnamese) delay in visiting was down to lack of interest, as my two nephews already live in the same town as my dad. perhaps once you’ve met one grandson, you’ve met them all, so you’ve become somewhat desensitised? I needn’t have worried. it was wonderful to have my parents over for the week, despite the cramped one bedroom accommodations of our flat. Ong Ba look really well. Ba brought over some truly lovely gifts for us, especially Tien-Long—he got a beautiful two-piece Chinese outfit with a dragon on it, and some squeaky trainers (sneakers for you those of you in North America!). it was wonderful to let Ong Ba play with our son, and Tien-Long really took to both of them. seeing my father laugh out loud and be so excited playing with our son really put my dad in a different light. not that my father was mean when I was younger, but I don’t remember him being so joyful (well, with the exception of some instances when my younger brother was a toddler), so carefree. guess that’s down to not having all the responsibilities of parenthood. anyhow, I was very sad when they had to go back. one cannot truly appreciate all the emotions and sacrifices parents make for their children until parenthood is experienced first-hand. that said, thank you, Ong Ba for everything you did and are still doing for your sons.

two weeks later, Kris’s Mum (Deb or Grannie) and Grannie (AKA Great-Grannie or GG) came to visit. Deb had already been over twice since Tien-Long was born, and GG once. despite GG occasionally reliant on a push chair, she is such an amazing trooper, and has never failed to tackle the flight of stairs leading to our flat. it was amazing to see how much Tien-Long how grown since the last time GG was here. also, at least this time it didn’t take a whole week for Tien-Long to greet Grannie Deb without getting upset. unfortunately, both family visits didn’t coincide with any of my holiday time, so I didn’t get to spend much time with everyone, although we’re hoping to make up for that this August. it has to be said that having four generations of a family in one room was quite a significant experience for us.

our little baby continues to develop. he’s really building up his repertoire of vocal techniques, squealing and screaming in delight, calling out, cooing, and use of consonants such as ‘B’ and ‘M’. it remains to be seen whether or not he’s deliberately trying to say words resembling Mama or Bo (Dad in Vietnamese), however we are convinced that when we say ‘Bye Bye’ he tries to mimic the ‘B’ sounds. his manual dexterity is really coming along, and he enjoys banging cups together, slapping tables with his open hands, and holding and drinking from his bottle. being a baby, of course he loves stuffing things into his mouth, including spoons and even other people’s fingers. unfortunately, since his two sharp middle lower teeth have come in, gnawing at fingers can be unbelievably painful (I feel sorry for Kris when she breastfeeds him…). he also loves drinking from cups, and has started eating apple flavoured rice cakes and baby pasta (non-pureed foods!). he also loves tugging at my face, yanking my lower lip here and there… ouch. he still hasn’t shown much interest in crawling, although he’s got really strong legs and keeps trying to push himself up. the past few weeks, he’s really learned how to sit up straight unassisted, and he LOVES being pushed in swings.

this past Tuesday, whilst at Waitrose (our local grocery store), one of the young cashiers, to whom I’d never spoken, was speaking to her colleague, and mentioned that she had been working at the store ever since Tien-Long was a newborn. it was wonderful to know that people recognise our son, and that he was being used as a reference point in someone’s life.

last week was half-term, and it was great to spend some quality time with my family, going to Regents Park, and catching up with close friends, including Tien-Long’s friends Charlotte (and parents Bec and Neil) and Connor (and mum Clare). we also played host to a family friend, Julia, who is the daughter of friends from our old residence. Julia, however, is no longer little, and is now entering her last undergrad year at Harvard!

Tien-Long had a special rendezvous on Tuesday 30^th May. in my overexcitement about our little dragon’s looks, I decided to send to send some pictures to a few baby modelling agencies in London. I have to admit that this was purely a matter of satisfying my own ego, and Kristin had absolutely NO interest in doing this. I know that my opinion of Tien-Long’s looks is COMPLETELY objective and unbiased (yeah right…), and that parents are programmed to love their babies’ appearances (otherwise, there’d be a higher rate of rejection, I suppose). an agency expressed interest and invited our son for an interview, which would consist of a short photoshoot and a chance to ask questions. when we arrived at Hungry Tiger studios in South London on the last of four days of shoots, Tien-Long’s name wasn’t even on the list! however, the members of staff were great, and Jenny, the agency rep fit us into their busy schedule without even blinking. Michelle, the baby hair and make-up specialist, cleaned up his face and decided that Tien-Long’s spiky hair needed no tampering. Tien-Long got to practise his sitting skills on hard white concrete, whilst Dan, the photographer worked his magic and took some gorgeous digital pictures of Tien-Long which we could then see on the nearby laptop. Tien-Long was brilliant and so interactive, and the experience was lovely. regardless of the selection outcome, it’s exciting to think that our son is the first (?) Packer/Phi/Barnett family member to be considered by a modelling agency! and no, it’s not some dinky unknown company—they had four of their children feature in a recent Burberry worldwide campaign… we’ll let you know the outcome soon… stay posted.

this week has been very trying for Tien-Long. Kris has had to return to teaching from maternity leave, and so our son has had to attend nursery for the first time. this change of routine was quite traumatic at first, but he seems to be settling in better each day. however, he definitely knows when mummy’s leaving him in the nursery, and bursts into tears without fail. perhaps it is more upsetting for the parents. we are fortunate that Tien-Long is cared for by brilliant staff members, and that the brand new nursery is actually at Kristin’s school. this week, I’ve been rushing home ASAP in order to catch my son on his way home. and when I leap out from behind a wall with a ‘Boo!’, inevitably I am greeted by a huge grin. after a gruelling day at work, there is no better feeling than being greeted by your child with such love.

Thursday night I experienced a first: Tien-Long weed on me not once, not twice, but THREE times in the space of half an hour… first time was when I was preparing his bath, and he was sitting on my lap. the next time was when I came back with him to test the bath water. thinking myself clever, I decided to join him in the bath to clean off the wee, only to have him pee in the bath a few minutes later… ugh…

well, this entry has definitely gone on for far too long. I am off to bed, but first I shall do my nightly tradition of kissing Tien-Long’s ‘meaty cheeks’ as I affectionately call them. May you all get to experience the same unbelievable joy…

So very tired...

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 09:14:02 GMT

Easter break is nearly over, and it's been incredible to spend a good two weeks with Tien-Long and Kristin. i cannot believe that it's been at least two months since my last entry, and so much has happened in that time. our son keeps developing at a quick pace. still not walking or crawling yet, but he's such a chatterbox/noisy baby. of course we don't want to jinx ourselves, but so far our son has a pretty happy personality, and is fairly low maintenance, not that we don't do all we can to keep him entertained.

the holiday break has been particularly amazing for me because i've had the chance to participate in some of Tien-Long's daily routines. going to music and movement, meeting some of Kris's mum friends and some of Tien-Long's baby friends, also getting to meet and hang out with some of the fathers--a highlight was walking through Bayswater and Kensington Gardens with Tien-Long in my BabyBjorn carrier alongside Neil carrying Charlotte (who i affectionately refer to as Tien-Long's girlfriend, as they share birthdates) in his BabyBjorn. Neil is also the only other EDGE (gaming magazine) reader i know!

the thing Tien-Long seems to dislike the most is being indoors and at home for too long. that's when he's most restless, and so we've made it a point to get him out and about as much as possible. of course it doesn't help that we live in a one bedroom flat, which doesn't leave us much room to move. speaking of little room, we had the pleasure of hosting Kristin's eight-year old cousin/goddaughter Maja for three weeks. Maja and her family live in Perth, Australia, and Aunt Tanya had to do some work in Aberdeen for two weeks so we had Maja's company during that time, and then Tanya stayed with us for a week, joined by Uncle David for the last two nights. it was wonderful to get to spend some quality time with such a wonderful family that we had not seen in eight years, and for Kris to get to know her goddaughter properly.

During Tanya's stay, we decided to work on Tien-Long's sleeping routine. we had been feeding him each time he'd wake, but we wanted to try and get him to sleep through the night, and settle him down without a feed when he wakes at night. at first we'd pick him up and bounce him whilst he cried. this worked, but the first few nights, he'd cry for at least 1.5 hours or more before falling asleep again. on the third night, he slept through without stirring once--that was a one off. Tanya was a ROCK when it came to supporting us through his crying. a baby sleep expert suggested we not pick him up if we wanted quicker results. it's been a week, and for the most part, Tien-Long goes down between 7:30 and 8pm, stirs occasionally in the night, then wakes at around 4:30 for a few hours, and has not stopped crying. we've somewhat decided that if he sleeps till 4:30, that's a good start. if by 6am, he's not stopped crying, we'll feed him. it's a compromise... how do you get him to sleep till 6am without waking up at 4:30?...

i will admit that it's been great giving him a routine. we try to feed him at around 6pm, followed by a bath, which i've been giving him. he then stays up happily for awhile and just around 7:30, he gets a little breast feed, followed by a night time story (usually 'That's Not My Dragon!'), then is put into his crib with a little light show, and as not fussed to sleep. it's a great feeling.

we've been feeding Tien-Long a variety of pureed fruit and veg to go with his baby rice or baby porridge. my personal favourite (i know it's got nothing to do with what i like) is pear or apple. blueberry's quite nice, and squash, carrots and parsnips are good as well. the one i'm not too keen on (and i think Tien-Long agrees with me) is courgette/zucchini (funny thing, type in zucchini into google, and the first listing is for chocolate and zucchini recipes?!?!?!?!?... hmm...). even stranger will be when we will have to feed him protein: pureed chicken or beef anyone?

Tien-Long loves to stare at strangers on public transport. not to mention he keeps getting loads of smiles from strangers. of course, being a baby, he loves putting things in his mouth, including spoons, books, blankets, the fingers of absolute strangers he meets, and he even tries to chew the laptop! he has learned to shake rattles, but hasn't much control so he flails his arms wildly. yesterday Tien-Long took his first shower ever when he joined me. of course initial concerns are that he would kick up a storm, but other than flinching when the waterfall hit his face, he really seemed to enjoy himself. Tien-Long also did something this morning during breakfast, which he's only done once before: he FELL ASLEEP (picture included)!!! his head slowly edged nearer to the table until it finally touched down.

other developments, we've decided to move back to Canada in August for Tien-Long to grow up close to family. the quality of life he will get to experience will be much better. there are SO MANY sacrifices we are making (some professionally, but mostly personally, culturally), and despite the difficulty of the decision (and some heartbreak), we think we are making the right choice. i submitted my resignation for the end of August last week. here's hoping Kris and i will be able to find work as teachers and musicians for the coming school year... yikes!

now if anyone asked me if the parenting 'honeymoon' period is over, i can honestly say it's just getting more and more exciting... i am still loving every moment of it, and staring at our little dragon still takes my breath away...

Hard Day At Work...

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 22:26:11 GMT

okay... so it's been over one month since my last visit. let's try a quick recap of what has been happening. this entry is going to be a little disjunct, but what do you expect after neglecting one's blog for so long?

Christmas was a pretty low-key affair. it really is amazing how the goal posts change once the baby arrives. we spent most of the day caring for Tien-Long and trying to get X-mas dinner prepared. unfortunately, our dear friend John was unwell and unable to make it. Tien-Long got loads of presents from different people (many stuffed animals...) including a student of mine! we also got to webcam with his maternal grandparents.

on Tuesday 27th December, Tien-Long officially laughed for the first time. it is such an incredible feeling to hear your baby's true voice, and what a AMAZING voice it is! slightly husky, and absolutely adorable.

oh. late November, Kris's father came to visit for 10 days. it was to have him, and George proved to be a surprising help with Tien-Long. he arrived at a time when Tien-Long was being quite difficult, well, not deliberately. luckily, he also came with the requisite lodging payment of bags of Honey Comb cereal.

on 8th January, the first Phi family member came to visit Tien-Long! Chi-Minh managed to get a week off work to visit little ol' us in the UK, and despite growing apart for so many years, it was wonderful to have him with us. we really hadn't changed that much, and we still get on really well. it was also a wonderful opportunity for Chi-Minh to get to know his new nephew as well as his sister-in-law, Kristin! it's just a shame that he planned his holiday during a week that i was working. ah well, beggars can't be choosers. next time we'll get to catch up properly. Chi-Minh got to try Chorizo sausage from Borrough Market (yum!!!), and a Frueli strawberry beer from the little pub near Old Street, as well as Vietnamese take away from Tay Do restaurant on Kingsland Road. apparently, the food met with his approval. in all fairness, it's our favourite Vietnamese restaurant in London, UK, and luckily it stacks up against the restaurants in Canada--i was worried that nearly seven years in England would have caused us to forget what really good Vietnamese food tastes like. Tay Do has great Bun Thit Nuong, Pho Tai, Cha Gio (although they use filo pastry instead of rice paper), Banh Xeo, and AMAZING Bo La Lot! unfortunately, the food is a great as the smoke is bad and the waiters are unfriendly. and also whilst Chi-Minh was here, we got to webcam with Ong (Vietnamese for grandfather), and my eldest brother's family. the first Phi family gathering of this size since Kris and my wedding in 2003. it was the first time that Ong got to actually see Tien-Long live. Chi-Minh's payment: four bags of Honey Comb.

the week of the 16th January, Tien-Long had his first ever real cold and to hear him have a coughing fit was the most heart breaking thing to witness. the fact is that i fell ill shortly after, and i can only imagine how painful it was for him to cough, especially after i realised how much my coughing hurt m throat. Tien-Long would hack away with his new throat, tears streaming down his cheeks, then sigh a dejected and exhausted 'goooooooo.......' he also threw up properly for the first time, twice to be precise and on yours truly, soaking my clothes. luckily for him AND me, he's now better.

25th January, we watched a programme on BBC called Baby Be Mine, following the attempts of families hoping to adopt children from different countries. it's hard to believe that there are so many children in need in the world, as well as how poorly some people view children, especially now that we are parents. they showed this one single, unemployed mum with six or seven kids, whose home had no running water or electricity, and the mum and her 13 year old daughter were both stumbling drunks, and yet the mum wanted to take her infant son away from a foster mother who had raised him for the past few years, claiming that the foster mum could not possibly raise him better than she! we've now decided we will adopt a child someday.

anyhow, on to happier things, Tien-Long is developing so fast. he weighs more than 15 lbs, and he's fast outgrowing clothes. he was a late bloomer when it came to lying on his tummy and raising his head, but this past week, Tien-Long learned how to roll onto his back!!! he has also started to suck his left thumb (it's so cute...) and suck on his right hand. a drool warning is now in full effect. he also loves play with his toes and now can hold objects. unfortunately, he also scratches his head in the middle of the night, often till he bleeds...

Kris and i are fans of breakdancing (the Koreans and French crews are wicked!), and we'd always joked that we would send Tien-Long to breakdancing lessons. then in early January, after trying to distract our son with funny faces and sounds, i made a SERIOUSLY poor attempt at beat boxing, to which Tien-Long giggled. maybe breakdancing is a good choice after all...

last night, Tien-Long had his first truly successful night's sleep. down at 8:30 pm and he didn't wake up till 4 for his feed! he then fell asleep a short while later and around 6 am, he got up for another feed and after a little resistence to falling asleep again, Kris gently tapped his shoulder and he zonked out again till 8:30 am!!! what a result!

half-term is on the 13th, and Grannie (Kris's mum) is coming at the end of this week--hooray! Tien-Long's new favourites: his giggling lion toy, his playmat with wind chimes, lying on his tummy, mummy's dancing and caressing his face with silk scarf, daddy making him fly in the air, still loves Peter Rabbit mobile, naked afternoon kickabout on parent's bed.

here's a scan of his passport pic, taken at the shop across from Selfridges department store on Oxford Street. the photographers there are AMAZING. coincidentally, there are hundreds of passport photos of celebrities hanging on the wall, including that of CHRISTOPHER REEVE! enjoy this pic... a la prochaine...

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 11:40:29 GMT

so another few weeks, another entry... in all fairness, it's not that there is nothing to write about; in fact, quite the opposite, especially in the past two weeks.

two weeks ago (Sunday, 4th December, 2005), something interesting happened... Tien-Long woke up from his nap, and it was as though he had finally arrived on the planet, as though the evolution of his personalilty stepped up another level. before this, he would look around with no apparent focal point, other than any objects with contrasting colours (black and white images), occasionally responding to peoples' voices with a shift of the head toward the person making the noise. smiles were hard work to achieve. then that Sunday, he began to respond vocally to our actions, our body language or vocal sounds. we feared that maybe this was a chance occurrence, but to our delight and relief this was not the case.

when breastfeeding, he's in the habit of either wrapping his hand around Kris's wedding band, which is hanging from a small chain around her neck (until her carpal tunnel goes away) or he clutches her shirt, or he strokes her breast as if to encourage it to produce more food!... on the subject of feeding, Tuesday and Wednseday night he was given expressed milk in a bottle for the first time, and by yours truly no less! despite our fears that he may not take to the bottle, he had no problems feeding from it. what a pleasure for me to feed him, and how cute is he, sitting upright whilst half-asleep and being burped in the middle of the night?

fortunately, along with his new-found personality, his health also seems to have taken a turn for the better. for so many weeks, he'd had the runs, but finally things have become a little more solid. no more blood either. if you are grossed out by the detail, TOUGH LUCK. don't know if i already mentioned this, but Tien-Long actually had a bad-tummy poo in his bath bucket about a month ago, whilst I was holding him... we'll just leave it at that... oh, and his cradle crap is nearly all gone (the pic is from November)! yay!

yesterday afternoon, whilst our dear friend Stuart was visiting, Tien-Long began to fuss and cry, Kris decided to demonstrate our baby's affinity for music by playing a Kate Rusby cd.
Tien-Long immediately stopped crying, and listened intently. we are convinced he recognises this cd from his time in the womb, when his mother would listen to it. ah... another musical family member in the works?...on that note (pun intended...) Kris also discovered last week that if you sing long high notes, our little dragon will reply with some singing of his own. more precisely, he will coo in response!

last night (Saturday), my school had its annual X-mas concert, and this was Tien-Long's first ever concert outside the womb! the show went really well and our baby was so well-behaved throughout! he slept in his baby seat through most of the first half, then Kris woke him up for a feed, fearing that he would fuss terribly and that he was getting so much sleep that he would be up all night. he then had a little feed during the second half, and promptly fell asleep again! the only time he was startled was at the start of the overly loud backing track to Let It Snow, twisting his face into a pre-cry grimace, only to calmly return to his feed.

upon our return home at 11:10pm, we feared that Tien-Long would be up all night because he had slept almost straight since 5pm... it is now 3:50am and our angelic baby is now feeding, but had been asleep for three hours!!! i have to say that the time between our return home and his falling asleep was magical. he's never sat down for more than 30 minutes without needing entertaining (whether a simple word from either of us, or distraction by turning on his Peter Rabbit musical mobile), but this time was so different. it was as though he actively panning the room curiously, thinking about something, maybe pondering the meaning of life, solving some of Professor Stephen Hawking's theories?... what IS that baby actually thinking about?... as time goes on, Tien-Long seems to be gaining more independence from us. he is also starting to suck his left fist in an attempt at self-soothing.

Tien-Long definitely favours his mum, who can simply say hello and his face will light up with smiles, and last night when she made a funny face, he finally squealed in delight!... it really is as thought he's been waiting so long to do this, but did not physically know how to express his excitement... next step: outright laughter?

i still really feel incompetent, trying to word the magic of seeing Tien-Long's personality take shape. he has brought... no, he IS so much joy in our lives, and the more i say "my family", the more i love the sound of it...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 22:45:04 GMT

well, what can i say? i had warned you that i would probably be rubbish at updating my blog, and guess what? i was right! so much has happened since the last time i wrote... Tien-Long is now nearly 9 weeks young, and only getting more and more beautiful...

we find ourselves extremely sleep-deprived on this journey. he has not been sleeping that well at night, and he has also been having tummy problems we suspect (i won't go into any detail), but a few weeks back, he went to the A&E (Accident and Emergency... A.K.A. ER for you North Americans out there) for some tests. we can't figure out if there is something wrong with him, perhaps it's some allergy? as first time parents, it's impossible NOT to worry at every turn. i'm uncertain of all the results of the tests, but we did discover that he has eczema on his face. this in addition to his premature balding (apprently common amongst babies), and his case of cradle cap (or cradle crap, as i prefer to call it), and it makes for an exciting start to life. for a few weeks, he would wake up with a pained expression on his face and let out a huge, heart-breaking wail, leaving us to try and console him, though feeling powerless and clueless as to the exact cause of his discomfort.

we took him to a baby massage course a few weeks back. he was still quite young for the course at the time. to our dismay, he slept through the first half of this class. when he did wake up, he enjoyed some massage, and eventually was relaxed enough to pooh on the hand of yours truly... so up till now, i've been peed on, pooed on, and thrown up on... i guess that makes it a hat trick? he seems to enjoy tooting at his dad when i change him--i suppose i should feel flattered that he is that relaxed around me. i get the distinct impression that mummy has been training him/pressuring him to toot and wee on daddy, but as of yet i haven't any concrete evidence...

on a brighter note, he has taken to smiling and making more non-crying baby noises. fair enough, it's not as though he's smiling all the time, but when he does break into a grin, it is the most amazing, heart-melting experience... just Sunday, after his feed, he was tracking me with his eyes whilst i was tidying my bookshelf, and when i began to tease him with silly talk, he broke into the hugest smile for five seconds. and when i teased him again, i got the same result! it's little moments such as these that make all the sleepless nights and fussing worthwhile.

last Thursday, Tien-Long went for his first injections, and although i had to work that day, apparently it was fairly traumatic for him, and he cried throughout the ordeal... i must admit that although i did get two weeks paternity leave (with reduced statutory pay), i cannot help but feel that i've been missing out on some of Tien-Long's initial development. dad's do get the proverbial short end of the stick when it comes to parenthood. i really wish i could spend more time with him and see his personality grow. he enjoys dancing with Kris to Kate Rusby (actually, he LOVES all kinds of music--can't wait to force the cello lessons on him...), being held in 'Tiger in The Tree' position, being bounced on the birthing ball, having his evening bath in his 'bucket' (for lack of a better word), and being oiled up afterwards. he loves his Peter Rabbit mobile, and black on white/white on black picture books as well, and finally, he doesn't seem to mind having his nappy changed anymore. one thing he does NOT seem to like is his Moses basket (little crib)... go figure!

as Kris is a permanent resident of the UK and soon eligible for citizenship, it turns out that since he was born here, Tien-Long is actually a British citizen. after a few calls to both the Canadian High Commission in London, and the British Home Office, we also discovered that he is entitled to dual citizenship with Canada as well (lucky bugger...). that's really great for him, having a European Union passport will open so many more doors for him.

i take as many pics as possible with my camera phone, and look at his pics when i'm away at work. in fact, thinking about him keeps me sane, although i occasionally find myself asking 'what the heck am i doing here?'

i must admit that i have been neglecting my other baby (my cello) quite seriously. i do miss it tremendously, but with my hour-long daily commute to and from work, not to mention work itself, i find that i'm lucky just to have enough energy to be with my family and survive sleep-deprived nights. the occasional rehearsals (every other week, if we're lucky) i do get with Simon (guitarist and singer/songwriter) are a breath of musical sanity, which i hope we can build on. in fact, the music is acoustic material, with some lovely melodies and lyrics, but we never seem able to get regular rehearsals together, and with Tien-Long here, weekday sessions have basically been ruled out. i keep hoping that eventually we will get our act together for a few small gigs and perhaps a demo.

having Tien-Long in our lives, we cannot help but feel that we've become members of an exclusive club. everywhere i go, i notice all other pregnant women around, and babies too, and we've had so many (well-intentioned) strangers with children of their own, asking how old the baby is, and swapping numbers occasionally... i find myself babbling like an idiot about all my emotions. i never would have believed that i could feel this much excitement and pride about anything: my little family unit... on that note however, i must call it a night... i am certain that there is much more i wanted to write, but have forgotten. hopefully this entry has not been too disjunct. that'll teach me not to update more regularly. i shall try to write again sooner next time. dream of large milk-filled boobies, little Tien-Long...

xx

p.s. are parents genetically predisposed to find their baby unbelievably good looking, or is Tien-Long actually the best looking baby in the world? maybe a bit of both...

Monday, October 24, 2005

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 20:52:48 GMT

just put Tien-Long to bed for the night (or the next couple of hours). mum (Deb) and Grannie left Friday morning, after spending nearly two weeks with us. to say that Deb was a lifesaver would be an understatement, helping with the cooking, cleaning and soothing the baby. Grannie was a trooper as always, and it was sad to see them leave.

although Tien-Long hasn't been gaining as much weight as he's meant to (according to the health visitor), he's clearly developing rapidly in other ways. when i soothe him by letting him suckle my pinky, he wraps one of his tiny hands around it. he also grabs my shirt on occasion. it's wonderful to see him develop his motor skills, although not when tugs on one of my nipple hairs... he also seems to spend more time alert, looking around curiously. his eyes have started to lose some of their original deep blue colour and i think they are taking on a shade of brown.

one's sense of time really does change with a baby around. when i am enjoying a snuggle with Tien-Long, time seems to stand still, or maybe i'm simply not exhaling enough, but it's as though i'm experiencing my personal bullet-time moment, but before you know it, the day is up, and i find myself wishing i could rewind the clock. i feel as though i'm saying that a great deal, but hey, it's TRUE!

we took Tien-Long to the Active Birth Centre on Sunday to participate in a baby massage training session led by the guru of baby massage, Peter Walker. there were about 8 other couples there with their babies, as well as a few dozen women who had signed on to train with Peter Walker. sadly, Tien-Long was too young to participate in the main part of the course, but as he was the first baby to arrive, Peter demonstrated some cute positions we could put him in. Peter has such a calming demeanor to him, and is incredible with the babies. on a side note, you cannot imagine the excitement i felt being the first parents to arrive and carrying Tien-Long in the room with all these people who were on the course. i felt such a vain surge of excitement, knowing all these people were admiring our son. it was wonderful to see all these babies being massaged by their parents, then as the babies relaxed, seeing some of them wee all over the place. truly parenthood is the greatest show on earth, and despite being the youngest baby there, Tien-Long was so well-behaved throughout the session. we are so proud of you.

Kris and Tien-Long have started to attend this drop-in breast feeding centre. it's a place run by the local midwifery group with a lactation specialist that gives support and advice to mums. it also allows mums to meet others and share their experiences--a bit like a social club. this has got to be every heterosexual man's idea of paradise: a room full of women with their breasts hanging out... hmm... i'm glad that Kris has made some nice acquaintances there. it gives her something regular to look forward to as well as possibly giving Tien-Long his first group of baby friends. on the subject of breastfeeding, whilst the idea of it is beautiful, the reality of has not been so simple because of Tien-Long's jaundice, which resulted in sleepiness. this meant that he was too tired to feed, which resulted in dehydration, which meant that his system was unable to flush out the bilirubin (reddish yellow pigment, a result of the excess red blood cells--feel free to correct me, Chi-Minh), which meant that he remained too tired to feed. the solution was for him to undergo two big doses of photo therapy (where he spent at least a day under what looked like a sunbed for babies), and a feeding tube, then he was bottle fed, which hampered his eventual breast feeding. when Kris finally tried to breast feed, he would kick up such a fuss, and it was only thanks to the persistence and help of midwives and nurses, Tina, Clare, Joanna, Amy, and the cranial osteopath, Martien, that he started to feed properly. we'd always meant for him to breast feed, and yet seeing all this literature on the joys of breastfeeding seemed to place such expectation and pressure on us, so when everything did not go according to the 'script', it was incredibly disheartening. it was as though somehow, we were failing. then there is the pregnancy carpal tunnel which hasn't gone away and has made holding him for his feed a pain in Kris's arms, and the cracked nipples (luckily no mastitis)--wow, the party never ends! luckily things are going better now and at times you can hear our little pumpkin gulping away to his tummy's content.

before i forget, it needs to be said that midwifery is a truly unbelievable profession, at least here in the UK. even more so in our borough where we were assigned one-on-one care. although Viv was our primary midwife, if for whatever reason she happened to be unavailable for the delivery, one of her team of three (each of whom we'd met) would be on call to assist. i cannot emphasise enough how nice it is to see a familiar face when the time arrives. fortunately, Tien-Long's early arrival coincided with a night when Viv was on duty (she had just delivered another baby a couple of hours earlier). to be honest, this one-to-one care where a patient knows the midwife is NOT the norm in the UK, so we consider ourselves particularly lucky to be in our area of London; in other places, you end up with a stranger--one of Kris's acquaintances ended up with a real meanie. before i start sounding negative, i just wanted to say that i wish midwifery were more common in Canada.

gone are the days of simply 'popping out' of the flat. any outing requires at least an extra 10 minutes to prepare him, dressing him up then put him into the carrier. he usually falls asleep once we're outside and on the move. i love going to the grocery store with him strapped to my chest, and placing a finger in his hand to check if he's still awake. if he is, he'll usually clench my finger, and i'll keep his hand in mine. he still kicks up a fuss when having his nappy changed, but late Sunday night, i had the pleasure of changing his diaper, only to realise that he was peeing on the changing table, so in order to avoid having him wee all over me and onto the floor, i simply put my hand 'in harm's way' to deflect it--the things you do as a father... on a side note, it's also really amazing what truly bizarre songs and chants you come up with for your baby.

that's it for now... sweet dreams

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 15:34:38 GMT

last Sunday, Kris's mum, Deb, and grannie arrived from Canada safely. truly we were fortunate to have four generations of Packers together to celebrate Thanksgiving. we were also joined by a multi-ethnic gathering for dinner: Jack being of Singaporian/Chinese heritage; Srbo, being English-born Serbian; Collette from South-Africa; The Patels (Vijita, from the U.S; Akshay, from London; and their lovely daughter, Octavia-Raajal); Kristin, who is part Cree; yours truly of Vietnamese origin; little Tien-Long; and last but not least, Stuart from Wiggan!

speaking of our guests, Collette brought red bean soup (grannie's recipe) and wonderful corn bread. Stuart on the other hand made all the veg and cooked a huge turkey... a HUGE thanks guys... i made pumpkin pies. good food, and great company. that what it's about. and Kris and i have so much to be thankful for...

we realised that although Tien-Long was a decent size and weight when he was born, he's a skinny little fella. maybe the baby fat comes later? he's developing so fast--where's the pause button on this show? his face is taking a more distinct shape every day. i think he takes his broadish nose, his frown, and most likely his yet-to-be fully developed eyebrows from his father. fortunately, he's beautiful looking, which he gets from his mum...

yesterday, our little Angelic Dragon cooed for the first time! one coo late morning and the other time in the late afternon. what a gorgeous sound... we're quite fortunate that he's normally quite low maintenance, and only cries when hungry, or feels gaseous, or maybe wants a cuddle, or last and worst of all, is having his nappy changed. he's loudest when forced into nudity. he either doesn't like having his bits on display to the world, or more likely it's the cold, but that's when his crying is worst. last night was a pretty bad as far as Baby is concerned. he's yet to get into a sleeping pattern, and so Kris was forced to stay up with him for most of the night. i have discovered that i enjoy cradling him at 6-ish in the morning. usually he's been fed, so he won't complain, and then he falls asleep in my arms whilst i'm sitting back in the couch. he curls up into my chest, face down toward the heat, occasionally stirring, yawning or smacking his lips, curling up a little more. this is when i feel closest to him--i can only imagine how it feels to carry a child inside for 9 months... our little Shaolin monk (as my little brother, Tan-Trao kindly described him) is so fragile and in need of our protection. hard to believe that he spent all that time in mummy's tummy, and now he's really here. Kris, you really did bake a perfect baby.

that's about it for now. alla prossima.